Beauty Is Not Between A Size 0

You Know How You Always Expect Someone To Think The Same As You And Then Your Like, Really Shocked When They Don't? Like When It's A Cold Day And You Turn To The Person Next To You And Say, 'its So Cold, Aren't You Cold?' And Then They Say 'no.' It's Kinda Like, 'what, Are You A Communist?'

I Was Doing Stand-up At A Restaurant And There Was A Chalkboard On The Street Out Front. It Said, Soup Of The Day: Cream Of Asparagus. Ellen Degeneres.

You Know, If You're Going To Be Honest With Yourself, You Have To Admit That You Go Into Show Business Wanting People To Talk About You And Wanting Everyone To Know Who You Are. But That Also Means There Are Going To Be A Whole Bunch Of People Who Don't Like You. No Matter Who You Are. I'm Sure There's Somebody Out There Who Doesn't Like Betty White Because She's Short And Has White Hair.

Did You Ever Feel Like The Whole World Was Going To A Party And Your Invitation Got Lost In The Mail?

Find Out Who You Are And Figure Out What You Believe In. Even If It's Different From What Your Neighbors Believe In And Different From What Your Parents Believe In. Stay True To Yourself. Have Your Own Opinion. Don't Worry About What People Say About You Or Think About You. Let The Naysayers Nay. They Will Eventually Grow Tired Of Naying.