A Thing Of Beauty Is A Job

If Opportunity Doesn't Knock, Build A Door.

Valentine's Day Is The Day When You Remember That Cupid Was A Lousy Shot.

The Post Office Is Very Careful Nowadays. When They Get A Package Marked "fragile," They Throw It Underhand.

Santa Is Having A Tough Time This Year. Last Year He Deducted Eight Billion For Gifts, And The Irs Wants An Itemized List

I Made A Terrible Mistake Last Christmas. My Wife Made Me Swear That I Wouldn't Give Her A Fancy Gift. And I Didn't.