A Hospital Bed Is A Parked Taxi

I Did Toy With The Idea Of Doing A Cook-book. . . . I Think A Lot Of People Who Hate Literature But Love Fried Eggs Would Buy It If The Price Was Right.

There's One Way To Find Out If A Man Is Honest - Ask Him. If He Says, 'yes,' You Know He Is A Crook.

My Brother Thinks He's A Chicken-we Don't Talk Him Out Of It Because We Need The Eggs

A Cigar Makers Organization Once Said That I Was The Most Famous Cigar Smoker In The World. I Dont Know If Thats True, But Once While Visiting Havana, I Went To A Cigar Factory. There Were Four Hundred People There Rolling Cigars, And When They Saw Me, They All Stood Up And Applauded.

I Could Dance With You Until The Cows Come Home. On Second Thought I'd Rather Dance With The Cows Until You Come Home.