List of Victor Borge Quotes

You Want Something By Bach? Which One, Johann Sebastian Or Jacques Offen?

...the Elephant Smoked Too Much.

The Essence Of A General's Job Is To Assist In Developing A Clear Sense Of Purpose . To Keep The Junk From Getting In The Way Of Important Things.

When An Opera Star Sings Her Head Off? She Usually Improves Her Appearance.

How Nice. Now The Germans Can Sleep In Peace, Knowing That They Will Not Be Invaded By Us.

There Is A Bit Of Hans Christian Andersen In Every Dane.

You May Not Be Aware Of This But Leonard Bernstein Won Another Award, For Explaining The Music Of Igor Stravinsky... To Igor Stravinsky!

They Say That Nero Started The Fire Himself Because He Needed A Suitable Backdrop For His Concert.

The Elephant Smoked Too Much.(explaining Why The Keys Of His Piano Were So Yellow)

I Learned To Play The Piano On My Mother's Knee - That Was Before We Got A Piano.

It (the Double-clarinet In India) Was Primarily Used For Snake Charming, Since The Snake Would Do Almost Anything To Get The Indians To Stop Playing It.

My Father Invented A Cure For Which There Was No Disease And Unfortunately My Mother Caught It And Died Of It.