List of Paul Reiser Quotes

It Was Trying To Make My Tennis Game Look Mildly Respectable, Which I Found You Don't Even Really Need To Practice If You Have A Really Good Editor. They Can Edit It And You're Like, "hey, It Looks Like I'm Playing Really Well." That Was The Fun Part, But It Was Like Going To Summer Camp.

You Know What? The Obvious Is Obvious For A Reason.

In Traditional Tv, It's Very Hard To Have The Luxury Of Banking All Your Scripts And Getting Everything In A Row, But It Does Make It Very Easy, And It's Very Productive And Beneficial And You Learn As You're Going.

When You Get Busy, The Priorities Change. In Your Twenties, You Hang Out With Who You Were In School With. Then You Grow Up And You Hang Out With The People You're Playing Ball With, Things You Like Doing With. When You Get Married, It Changes A Bit And You Lose Some Friends, Or You Gain Other Friends. You Gain Couple-y Friends. It Changes Again When You Have Children, And Then When Your Children Are The Focus Of Your Life.

In The Original Draft I Was 27 And Peter Was 55 In The Script. That's Not The Same As A Guy In His 40s And A Dad In The End Of His 70s. It's A Different Point In Both Our Lives.

She Kind Of Reminds One Of Helen. There's Something Very Similar About Elizabeth Perkins.

We Had The Boy's Name Picked Out, But We Didn't Have A Girl's. When He Turned Out To Be A Boy, We Were So Relieved. Literally, In The Middle Of Contracting And Pushing, And With My Wife Being Drugged - Out And Half - Lucid, We Were Still Coming Up With Names.

When You're In @#*!#-ing Hell, Your Forehead Can Feel A Wee Bit Feverish. (by The Way, That's The Way My Wife Actually Curses. She Doesn't Use Dirty Words; She'll Literally Say "asterisk, Pound Sign, Exclamation Point, The-letter-'a'-with-a-circle-around-it, Asterisk, Asterisk, Asterisk.")

That's The Nice Thing About Doing Stand-up. There's No Development, You Just Go Out There And Get An Immediate Response As To Whether Something Is Good Or Bad. Getting A Laugh Is The Best Measure Of How Well You're Doing.

Why Do You Think People Close Their Eyes When They Kiss? Think About It. In The Real World, If You Saw Someone An-inch-and-a-half Away, Coming At You With Their Eyes Open And Their Lips Puckered, You'd Scream. It's Alarming.

The Most Rewarding Part About Being A Dad Is Just Looking At Children Who Didn't Exist At Some Point. The First Time You Saw Them, They Were The Size Of A Quarter, In A Sonogram, And Now They Can Pour Orange Juice And Yell At Each Other.

Our Date-nightrule Is No Talking About The Kids. That Lasts About To The End Of The Driveway.