List of Larry David Quotes

I Guess I Still Feel That I'm A Comedian; If I Had To Pick One Thing That I Feel Like I Could Do, It Would Be That. That Doesn't Mean That I Like It, But I Feel That's What I Am.

I'm Not A Person Who Embraces Challenges. I Run From Challenges. I Break World Records Running From Challenges.

Even Though The National Guard And Army Reserve See Combat Today, It Rankles Me That People Assume It Was Some Kind Of Waltz In The Park Back Then.

Golf And Dating Don't Mix.

I Never Thought For A Second That Anything I Ever Did Was Going To Make Someone Cringe. That Never Occurred To Me.

Until I Started Doing Standup, There Were Some Very Bleak Days.

If I Wasn't A Golfer, I Would Still Be Miserable - But Not As Miserable.

I Don't Think Anyone Really Is Interested In Reading About My Emotional State. It's Not Even Interesting To Me.

The Closest I Ever Came To Death Was Masturbating With A 104-degree Temperature.

I'm Surprised Sometimes At How Some Of My Actions Are Misinterpreted.

And Eventually As I Kept Writing It, Something Emerged That Was Not Quite Me But A Version Of Me.

Let's Not Forget, I Got Divorced.