List of Josh Billings Quotes

I Never Question A Success, Any More Than I Do The Right Of A Bulldog To Lie In His Own Gateway.

Menny Think Tha Luv Their Husbands Almost Tew Deth, When In Fack, Tha Are Only Jealous Ov Them.

It Is Easy To Assume A Habit; But When You Try To Cast It Off, It Will Take Skin And All.

Fun Is A Sugar-coated Physic.

It Ain't So Much The Things We Don't Know That Get Us Into Trouble. It's The Things We Know That Just Ain't So.

Most People Repent Their Sins By Thanking God They Ain't So Wicked As Their Neighbors.

The Man Who Ain't Got An Enemy Is Really Poor.

The Best Condition In Life Is To Be Not So Rich As To Be Envied Nor So Poor As To Be Damned.

Don't Ever Prophesy; For If You Prophesy Wrong, Nobody Will Forget It; And If You Prophesy Right, Nobody Will Remember It.

The Truly Innocent Are Those Who Not Only Are Guiltless Themselves But Who Think Others Are.

There Are Very Few Good Judges Of Humor, And They Don't Agree.

Fortune Is Like A Coquette; If You Don't Run After Her, She Will Run After You.