List of Artie Lange Quotes

I Like Gambling On Stuff That You Don't Know Anything About. That's When It's Exciting.

I Once Dealt With A Prima Donna On A Movie Set. I Won't Say Who, But His First Name Is A Country. A Communist Country. Run By Fidel Castro.

I Have Been In A Lot Of Movies, But None Of Them Are Critics' Darlings, You Might Say.

I Had A Career Before The Stern Show, On Mad Tv. I Was On The First Two Seasons Of That And I Got Kicked Off It Because Of Possession Of Cocaine.

Frank Sebastiano Is A Real Write. He Has Two Emmys, One From 'snl' And The Other From 'the Chris Rock Show' . The Only Award I Have Is An Fm-mmy.

Jason Alexander Is A Committed Actor, He Went From Working On A Show About Nothing To Actually Doing Nothing.

Howard's Unbelievably Nutty, Politically Incorrect Style Is Probably The Single Biggest Influence On Me.

I Got Into Comedy So I Could Stay Out All Night.

Everytime I Go To Vegas, I Seem To Incur Some Kind Of Fine.

Historically, A Successful Life In Comedy Is A Dream That's As Equally Pondered And Unpursued As Being An Astronaut.

I Found A Way For Her To Fall Asleep, Paris Hilton, Talk To Herself.

'course The World Of Sports Takes Itself Way Too Serious. Sports Writers Are All High And Mighty.