List of Andy Dick Quotes

Before I Was Known, I Would Go On Stage And Pretend I Was Other People. Once I Pretended I Was Mentally Handicapped. It Was Really Wrong. One Time I Was A Bad Magician. And One Time I Pretended I Was A Christian Comic.

I Have A Spiritual Advisor I Call Up, When I Just Feel Lost. Lately, I've Been Talking To God. I Developed This Dialogue In Rehab, This Dialogue With God, And Every Day I Talk To God.

I Believed In God My Whole Life, And Then Strayed Away From It In My Teen-age Years, Until Recently.

He Very Nearly Stole A Scene In My Movie, And I Didn't Call Him On It Because I Was Just Like, Hey, I Saw Some Stuff On Superdeluxe And How Many Different Films Do You Have On There? And He Goes, This One, This One, Comedy By Numbers And This One And One Called 'bob Pitches A Movie.' And I'm Like, Oh! And Then I Was Thinking He Would Say, Which Is Very Similar To The One To The One I Did In Your Movie, But He Never Did. I Just Let It Go. I Don't Care.

I Know What You Wanted To Say, Do You Think That Electrocution Rewired Your Brain To Make You The Retard That You Are? You Can Say It, Lady.

I Was A Bad Boy As A Child.

I Know Its Corny, But Laughter Is A Two-way Gift, And Hearing People Laugh Just Warms Me Through And Through.

I Grew Up Presbyterian, Just A Basic Protestant Upbringing. There Were Years In My Life When I Would Go To Church Every Sunday And To Sunday School. Then I Just Phased Out Of It.

I Went To Network On A Handful Of Pilots, And Going To Network Is The Most Stressful Situation Anybody Can Ever Be In. You're Supposed To Be On Point, You're Supposed To Be At The Top Of Your Game, The Funniest You Can Be, In About Five Minutes, In Front Of People Wearing Suits Who Really Don't Care, And They've Probably Already Picked Their Person, But They Have To See A Handful Just To Satisfy The Process. It's The Most Horrible, Horrible Process Known To Man. I Wouldn't Want Anybody To Go Through It.

I Believed In God My Whole Life.

I Used To Steal A Lot. But I Don't Do That Anymore, Because I Believe In Karma.

There Are Atheists And Christians, And There Are People In Both Groups Who Are A Little Too Heavy-handed.