You’re Not An Adult At All -

So Here Are Some Foolproof Recipes For Those Of You Who Understand The True Function Of Food. Bean Treat: Gingerly Pour Four Fluid Oz Of Beans Or Something Into A Jug. Cry. Eat The Beans From The Jug And Pour The Rest From The Can Down Your Throat. N.b. These Taste Better If They Belong To Somebody Else In Your House. Pain Au Dunk: Fists Of Bread, Rent From The Loaf And Dunked Into Anything Runnier Than Bread. Should Eat At Least Six Of These Because…you Should. Don’t Toast The Bread. Toast Is Cookery.

You Can't Please Everyone, Nor Should You Seek To, Because Then You Won't Please Anyone, Least Of All Yourself.

Lots Of Comics Try Stuff Out All Year Round, Which Is Very Sensible - I Don't.

When Did You Ever Hear Of A Child Not In Need? 'oh That's Enough Jam Tart For Me, I'll Just Go Now And Clean The Toilets.'

In My Personal Life, My Family Makes Me Laugh More Than Anybody; I Think That Is The Same For Everybody. I Certainly Hope It Is.