You Can't Stay Mad At Somebody Who

The Democrats Say That President Bush Doesn't Have An Exit Strategy For Iraq. Of Course He Does. If Things Don't Go Well, He Exits In November.

A Newsweek Poll Said If The Election Were Held Today, John Kerry Would Beat Bush 49 Percent To 46 Percent. And Today, President Bush Called Newsweek Magazine A Threat To World Peace.

Usain Bolt Won The Gold For The Men's 100- And 200-meter Dashes For The Second Olympics In A Row. You Know, He Has Been Running Since He Was In Elementary School - Kind Of Like Mitt Romney.

I Don't Mean To Harp On This, But It's Like The Networks Are A How-to Manual For Terrorists. You See Them On The News. This Reporter Is Standing Outside A Water Treatment Plant, Going, 'if They Poured The Poison Here It Could Wipe Out Thousands Because The Guard Is Off Duty From Noon Until 1 Every Day!'

Have You Noticed How The Republicans And Democrats Try To Copy Each Other At Their Conventions. Like At The Democratic Convention John Kerry's Daughter Told A Story About How He Once Gave Cpr To Her Hamster. At The Republican Convention The Bush Girls Are Going To Tell A Story About How When Their Hamster Was Bad, Their Dad Built Them A Little Electric Chair.