"you Are Fairly Smart," I Said After

So Keeping The Box Closed Just Keeps You In The Dark, Not The Universe.

That's Absolutely True, About The Eight Glasses A Day. There's No Reason Whatsoever To Drink Eight Glasses Of Water A Day Unless You, For Whatever Reason, Particularly Like The Taste Of Water. Most Experts Agree That Unless There's Something Horribly Wrong With You, You Should Just Drink Water Whenever You're - Get This - Thirsty.

Waffles Are Just Awesome Bread.

It Is Not My Fault That My Parents Own The World's Largest Collection Of Black Santas.

Ergo: Girls Should Always Make The First Move, Because (a) They Are, On The Whole, Less Likely To Be Rejected Than Guys, (b) That Way, Girls Will Never Get Kissed Unless They Want To Be Kissed.