Wow, You Survived A Blackout. You're Made

When We Anticipate, We're The Happiest. Unless You're On Antidepressants. The Reason You Take Antidepressants Is Because You Can't Anticipate. You Think Everything's Going To Be Horrible, So It Usually Is.

Writing Is Thinking And Thinking Is Hard Work.

When They Played, It Wasn't Music. It Was The Sound Of Chaos. I Knew It Was The Sound Of Chaos Because You Could Hear Pigs Being Slaughtered. Women Were Weeping And Men Were Gnashing Their Teeth, And There Were Sounds So Horrible That I Cannot Repeat Them To You, Or You Would Flee From This Room In Horror!

I've Got Stuff About Airline Mergers, Which Just Shows That My Stand-up Is Getting More Insane By The Minute.

Stupid Presidents, Smart Presidents, White Presidents, Black Presidents - Doesn't Work! What This Country Needs Is A Crazy Third World Dictator. And Donald Trump Has What It Takes To Be That. He's Already Got A Plane With His Name On It, Solid Gold Buildings, A Harem...