Wine, Madam, Is God's Next Best Gift

Affliction, N. An Acclimatizing Process Preparing The Soul For Another And Bitter World.

Vanity, N. The Tribute Of A Fool To The Worth Of The Nearest Ass.

There Would Be Far Fewer Accidents If We Could Only Teach Telephone Poles To Be More Careful.

Aphorism, N. Predigested Wisdom. The Flabby Wine-skin Of His Brain Yields To Some Pathologic Strain, And Voids From Its Unstored Abysm The Driblet Of An Aphorism. "the Mad Philosopher," 1697

Rarebit N. A Welsh Rabbit, In The Speech Of The Humorless, Who Point Out That It Is Not A Rabbit. To Whom It May Be Solemnly Explained That The Comestible Known As Toad-in-a-hole Is Really Not A Toad, And That Riz-de-veau à La Financière Is Not The Smile Of A Calf Prepared After The Recipe Of A She Banker.