When You're Lecturing Teenagers And They Begin

People Are Always Asking Couples Whose Marriage Has Endured At Least A Quarter Of A Century For Their Secret For Success. Actually, It Is No Secret At All. I Am A Forgiving Woman. Long Ago, I Forgave My Husband For Not Being Paul Newman.

Car Designers Are Just Going To Have To Come Up With An Automobile That Outlasts The Payments.

Never Lend Your Car To Anyone To Whom You Have Given Birth.

If A Man Watches Three Football Games In A Row, He Should Be Declared Legally Dead.

With All The Precautions And Risks That Accompany Sex Today, It Sounds About As Much Fun As Walking Through A Minefield.