Wait! Don't Applaud My Cheapness! I've Got

Personally, I Hope He Doesn't Get Out Of The Campaign. I Need Rick Perry. I Don't Want To Spend The Next Year Trying To Do Jokes About Mitt Romney.

There Is A New Bill In The Senate That Is Upsetting A Lot Of People. This Bill Would Give The President The Power To Shut Off The Internet. Al Gore Is Strongly Opposed To It. Not Because He Invented The Internet. Because He Did. But Because He Just Signed Up For Match.com.

There Are Times When You See The News, And You Go, "how The Hell Am I Meant To Do Anything Tonight?" I'm Not Good At Compartmentalizing Myself And Not Being Affected By The World Around Me, So It Was Very Difficult For Me When Atrocious News Stories Would Pop Up. And I Would Think, "how The Hell Am I Supposed To Talk To The Skeleton About The Horse Tonight?"

The Nation Of Iran Is Threatening To Sue The Makers Of The Movie Argo. They Say The Movie Was An Unrealistic Portrayal Of Their Country. You Can't Do That! That Would Be Like Scotland Suing Over The Movie Shrek.

Whoever I Had Become Had To Die.