Usually, I Walk Around And Think About

Stand-up Is Like A Row Boat: It's Fun And Romantic When You're Choosing To Do It. But If You Have No Other Choice Than To Be In A Row Boat It's Not As Enjoyable; That's Survival.

I Want To Get The Joke To Work Without Having To Put Any Words Or To Say Anything. I Just Want The Person To Look At It, And Quietly In Their Brain, They Can Just Put It Together And Say, "cool, That One Works".

Whenever I See An Autobiography For Sale In The Book Store I Just Flip To The About The Author Section. I'm Like, "done, Next!"

I Like Birthdays Because We Celebrate Life With Cakes. It's So Cool. Sometimes When I See A Baby, I'm Like That Much More Cake In The World. But Then When Someone Dies, I'm Like The Cake Streak Is Over.

I Wonder If There Were Any Goths In Gothic Times. They're Like: You Look Completely Appropriate. You Don't Look Stupid Or Lonely At All.