There Is This To Be Said About

I Think If You Can Write A Play, Or Produce A Play, The First Step Toward Success [is] If People Don't Want To Kill Themselves In The Lobby. Now There Must Be Four Or Five Other Steps, But That's The First.

It Has Been Explained To Me That Toys Are Packaged In Shards, To Be Assembled By The Middle-aged And Butter-fingered, Because This Makes It Easier For The Shippers. ... If They Had To Spend Hours And Hours Putting Handlebars Onto Bicycles ... They Would Repent Their Ways And Deliver Something That Looked Like A Rocking Horse And Not Like The Result Of A Small Street Accident.

You Can't Sleep Until Noon With The Proper Elan Unless You Have Some Legitimate Reason For Staying Up Until Three (parties Don't Count).

The Average, Healthy, Well-adjusted Adult Gets Up At Seven-thirty In The Morning Feeling Just Plain Terrible.

Confronted By An Absolutely Infuriating Review, It Is Sometimes Helpful For The Victim To Do A Little Personal Research On The Critic. Is There Any Truth To The Rumor That He Had No Formal Education Beyond The Age Of Eleven? In Any Event, Is He Able To Construct A Simple English Sentence? Do His Participles Dangle? When Moved To Lyricism, Does He Write "i Had A Fun Time"? Was He Ever Arrested For Burglary? I Don't Know That You Will Prove Anything This Way, But It Is Perfectly Harmless And Quite Soothing.