The Stork Is Voiceless Because There Is

I Am Billed As A Humorist, But Of Course I Am A Tragedian At Heart.

Pliny The Elder Perished In 79 A.d. When He Refused To Flee From The Great Eruption Of Mt. Vesuvius, Insisting That Everything Would Be All Right. It Wasn't.

Other Countries May Boast Of This And That, But Nobody Can Touch The United States For Poisonous Snakes. We Have About Twenty Species, Most Of Them Deadly, And Europe Has Only Five Or Six, None Of Them Much Good. We Have Fifteen Kinds Of Rattlesnakes Alone And Nobody Else Has Even One. [footnote: There Is A Species In Central And South America, But It Probably Came From Here.]

As Darwin Puts It In The Descent Of Man, 'male Snakes, Though Appearing So Sluggish, Are Amorous.' Isn't That Just Like Darwin? It Was One Of His Main Ideas, You Know, That The Males Of Almost All Animals Have Stronger Passions Than The Females. Since Then We've Learned A Thing Or Two. At Any Rate, The Female Snake Is Right There When Spring Arrives In The Woods.

Galvani Was Mistaken About The Amount Of Electricity In Frogs, But He Had Some Good Ideas, Too, For The Galvanometer Is Named In His Honor, And You Don't Have Galvanometers Named After You Merely For Making A Mistake About A Frog.