The Part I Enjoy Most Is Not

She Cannot Possibly Be Dead, People Do Not Just Die

You Will Not Kill My Girlfriend Today, International Terrorists Of Ambiguous Nationality!

Me: "if You Want Me To Be A Teenager, Don't Send Me To Support Group. Buy Me A Fake Id So I Can Go To Clubs, Drink Vodka, And Take Pot." Mom: "you Don't Take Pot, For Starters." Me: "see, That's The Kind Of Thing I'd Know If You Got Me A Fake Id.

I'm At The Eye Doctor. I'm Always At The Eye Doctor. It's Like This Is My Profession. I Am No Longer A Writer, I'm Now An Optomoligical Patient. By The Way, This Job Doesn't Pay Well.

Not Following Her Is The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done.