Summer Camp: The Second Worst Camp For

She, Uh, Came Out Of The Closet Recently, My Niece. Um... She Announced To The Family That She's A Lesbian And... She's Seven, Did I Mention That? And, Uh, I Don't Even Know If She Knows What A Lesbian Is, But I Support Her Completely. And, Uh... I'll Tell You What's Heartbreaking. My Sister Punished Her For It. Can You Believe That? No Pussy For A Week. Which To Us May Not Sound Like... But When You're Seven, You Know, A Week Is A Long Time.

I Love Children. I'm Embarrassingly Baby-crazy.

You Have To Be Able To Laugh At Yourself. That's What I Tell Asian People All The Time.

I Was Minnie Mouse For Halloween, Every Year When I Was Little. Then, I Had The Cinderella Nightgown, When I Was Really Little, That I Begged My Mother To Wear To School. I Was Also Snow White A Lot.

I Will Always Try To Be Happy. I Don’t Think People Really Understand The Value Of Happiness Until They Know What It’s Like To Be In That Very, Very Dark Place. It’s Not Romantic. Not Even A Little.