Stories Are Meant To Comfort The Afflicted,

I Niver Knew A Pollytician To Go Wrong Ontil He's Been Contaminated By Contact With A Business Man.

Politics Ain't Beanbag: 'tis A Man's Game, And Women, Children 'n' Pro-hy-bitionists Had Best Stay Out Of It.

Th' Newspaper Does Ivrything F'r Us. It Runs Th' Polis Foorce An' Th' Banks, Commands Th' Milishy, Controls Th' Ligislachure, Baptizes Th' Young, Marries Th' Foolish, Comforts Th' Afflicted, Afflicts Th' Comfortable, Buries Th' Dead An' Roasts Thim Aftherward.

Vice Goes Along Way Towards Making Life Bearable. A Little Vice Now And Then Is Relished By The Best Of Men.

That Is, No Matther Whether Th' Constitution Follows Th' Flag Or Not, Th' Supreme Coort Follows Th' Iliction Returns.