Stand-up Has The Best Writers, Because It's

None Seem To Bear The Imputation Of Supposed Guilt With Greater Intolerance Than Such As Are, On Other Occasions, Obviously Culpable Of Vice Or Crime.

A Proper Disposition Of Time Leaves A Man At Leisure In The Very Bustle Of Affairs; Without Delaying The Attention Of His Concerns To The Last Or Giving Them Unnecessary Application At First: It Affords A Season For Everything By Affording Everything Its Proper Season.

In Love, First Please The Eye, Then Win The Heart.

Your Worst And Most Dangerous Enemy Is The Person That Injures You Under The Pretensions Of Friendship.

I Went To A Hypnotist. He Put Me Under A Spell, And Every Time I Had A Craving For A Cigarette, I Would Throw Up. It's Very Embarrassing Right After Sex. I Find It Pretty Hard To Get That Second Date After That. Girls Get All Snobby After You Barf On Them.