President Obama, By The Way, Is, I

Don't Forget It's Daylight Savings Time. You Spring Forward, Then You Fall Back. It's Like Robert Downey Jr. Getting Out Of Bed.

Last Night We Had Bill Clinton, The Former President. Security Was As Tight As Governor Christie's Yoga Pants.

Donald Trump Is Attacking President Obama's Background. And I Said, 'wait A Minute, Trump Also Is From A Mixed Background. He's Half Jack And Half Ass.'

When We Started The Show, There Were Mixed Responses. Half Of The People Said, 'that Show Doesn't Have A Chance.' The Other Half Said, 'that Show Doesn't Have A Prayer.'

Have You Seen The Olympic Uniforms? It's For The American Olympic Team And It's Berets. To Me, Nothing Says America Like A Guy In A Beret. Look At Our Founding Fathers, They All Wore Berets.