Pain Only Hurts When You Are Looking

No One Wants To Drown. Drowning Would Be The Worst. Cause Everyone Knows That Feeling. That Feeling, Oh It's The Worst... When You Think You're Drowning.

The Problem With Dating A Model Is They Won't Go Out With You If Your Cars Color Doesn't Match Their Outfit.

I Feel Like People Who Don't Brag Are Trying To Make You Jealous By Thinking They're Hiding Something More Even Exciting.

True Love Is When You're Cheating On A Person But The Thought Of Them Still Makes Your Eyes Smile!

What Am I Supposed To Say To An Atheist When He Sneezes, Ah, When You Die Nothing Happens.