Never Trust The Food In A Restaurant

My Own Time Is Passing Fast Enough Without Some National Game To Help It Along.

I Don't Think The Government Is Out To Get Me Or Help Someone Else Get Me But It Wouldn't Surprise Me If They Were Out To Sell Me Something Or Help Someone Else Sell Me Something. I Mean, Why Else Would The Census Bureau Want To Know My Telephone Number?

If You Put On An Item Of Clothing That Hurts Just Because You Have An Idea It Looks Better Or Conforms To What Other People Are Wearing, It's Dumb.

The Only Thing That Really Bugs Me About Television's Coverage Is Those Damn Women They Have Down On The Sidelines Who Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About. I Mean, I'm Not A Sexist Person, But A Woman Has No Business Being Down There Trying To Make Some Comment About A Football Game.

Always Keep Your Words Soft And Sweet, Just In Case You Have To Eat Them.