My Sister Married A German. He Complained

I Was A Cute Baby. My Mom Said When I Was Born They Threw Away The Mold. Some Of It Grew Back.

One Man's Pet-stained Carpet Is Another Man's Twister Game.

When I Was A Kid I Used To Pray Every Night For A New Bicycle. Then I Realised That The Lord Doesn't Work That Way So I Stole One And Asked Him To Forgive Me.

I Was Walking Down The Street. Something Caught My Eye, And Dragged It Fifteen Feet.

My Dad And I, We Used To Play Baseball. I Was The Catcher. Which I Liked. Until One Day, I Saw This Game On Tv, And I Said, Hang On, How Come Their Catcher Doesn't Have His Hands Tied To His Ankles?