My Ex-girlfriend Owned A Parakeet…oh My God,

There Is Nothing That's Off Limits. If People Think Something Is Off Limits, I Make It My Business To Go Make A Joke About It; That's My Job.

I Let A Friend Set Me Up On A Blind Date. It Was A Disaster. She Ended Up Being A Burn Victim. By The End Of The Night.

I Got An Email From My Ex, Telling Me That She Has Aids. I Didn't Know How To Comfort Her, So I Just Wrote Back I Know.

I Want To Get A Tattoo Of The Word Irony, Only Misspelled.

I'm Getting Pretty Worried. My Girlfriend Hasn't Gotten Her Period. And She's Already 14.