Mom Used To Say I Didn't Run

I Was A Sober As The Next Guy. The Only Problem Is The Next Guy Was Dean Martin

I'd Have Avoided Some Of The Pain If I Could. Anyone Would. But I Wouldn't Have Missed Knowing Any Of The People-even The Ones Whose Leaving Hurt Most. In Fact, The Only Thing I'm Sorry About Is That I Didn't Meet One Particular Guy, A Clown Named Joe Skelton. You Know, He Sure Picked The Right Profession. I Mean, A Clown's Got It All. He Never Has To Hold Back: He Can Do As He Pleases. The Mouth And The Eyes Are Painted On. So If You Wanta Cry, You Can Go Right Ahead. The Make Up Won't Smear. You'll Still Be Smiling. . . .

When Anyone Hurts Us, My Wife And I Sit In Our Japanese Sand Garden And Drink Iced Tea. There Are Five Stone In The Garden - For Sky, Wind, Fire, Water, And Earth. We Sit And Think Of Five Of The Nicest Things We Can About The Person Who Hurt Us. If He Hurts Us A Second Time, We Do The Same Thing. The Third Time, We Light A Candle, And He Is, For Us, Dead.

Exercise? I Get It On The Golf Course. When I See My Friends Collapse, I Run For The Paramedics.

God's Children And Their Happiness Are My Reasons For Being.