Men Are Sensitive In Strange Ways. If

The Closest I Ever Came To A Menage-a-trois Was When I Dated A Schizophrenic.

If You Buy Your Husband Or Boyfriend A Video Camera, For The First Few Weeks He Has It, Lock The Door When You Go To The Bathroom. Most Of My Husband's Early Films End With A Scream And A Flush.

I Read Recipes The Same Way I Read Science Fiction. I Get To The End And Say To Myself "well, That's Not Going To Happen

Nobody Is Really Happy With What's On Their Head. People With Straight Hair Want Curly, People With Curly Want Straight, And Bald People Want Everyone To Be Blind.

Men Who Consistently Leave The Toilet Seat Up Secretly Want Women To Get Up To Go The Bathroom In The Middle Of The Night And Fall In.