Love Is Not Something You Think About,

Even A Mentally Challenged Shark Would Figure Out That Sea Turtles Did Not Wear Boxer Shorts Printed In Flying Piggies, And No Sea Turtle Would Be Yattering Streams Of Obscenities Between Chain-smoker Gasps Of Breath.

...she Is Too Beautiful, I Think, To Not Be Inherently Evil.

Inside, I Was Like: "ha, Suck My Spiky Rubber Strap-on, Vampyre Hunter!

Chapter 8, Dinner With The Vampire: Is There Something Wrong With Your Food?" No, I'm Just Not Very Hungry." You're Going To Break My Heart, Aren't You?

Don't Bruise The Foo!