John Kerry Will Be The Democratic Nominee

The Election Is In Full-swing. Republicans Have Taken Out Round-the-clock Ads Promoting George Bush. Don't We Already Have That? It's Called Fox News.

President Bush Is In The Hot Seat Over Iraqi Pre-war Intelligence. Remember The Good Ol' Days When The Only Thing The President Was Trying To Cover Up Was A Stain?

Strange Medical News From Pakistan: A Man Had A Successful Organ Transplant With A Dog. They Gave The Man A Dog's Organ. In A Related Story Today, Keith Richards Was Seen Chasing A Mailman.

This Is So Weird. I Saw The New John Kerry Campaign Commercial And He Says, 'i'm John Kerry And I Approve Of This Message - If I Have One.'

President Bush Says In The Last Month He Has Created 300,000 New Jobs. Yeah, They're Called Kerry Campaign Workers.