In England Only Uneducated People Show Off

In England It Is Bad Manners To Be Clever, To Assert Something Confidently. It May Be Your Own Personal View That Two And Two Make Four, But You Must Not State It In A Self-assured Way, Because This Is A Democratic Country And Others May Be Of A Different Opinion.

You Must Not Refuse Any Additional Cups Of Tea Under The Following Circumstances: If It Is Hot; If It Is Cold; If You Are Tired; If Anybody Thinks That You Might Be Tired; If You Are Nervous; If You Are Gay; Before You Go Out; If You Are Out; If You Have Just Returned Home; If You Feel Like It; If You Do Not Feel Like It; If You Have Had No Tea For Some Time; If You Have Just Had A Cup.

Australia Objects To The Mini-skirt Not On Moral But On Economic Grounds. Australians Are No Prudes And The Lovely, Healthy, Sporty Australian Girls Have No Reason To Hide Their Knees And Thighs. However, The Mini-skirt Is Disastrous For The Wool-trade.

American Radio Is The Reverse Of The Shakespearean Stage. In Shakespeare's Time The World's Greatest Dramas Were Acted With The Most Primitive Technical Arrangements; On The American Air The World's Most Primitive Writing Is Performed Under Perfect Technical Conditions.

'i Don't Say A Zionist Must Be Insane,' Said President Weizmann, 'but It Helps If He Is.'