If You're Old Enough To Be Arrested,

The Federal Government Spends Millions To Run The Postal Service. I Could Lose Your Mail For Half Of That.

Why Should We Tell Kidnappers, Murderers, And Embezzlers Their Rights? If They Don't Know Their Rights, They Shouldn't Be In The Business.

I Came Down To Orange Because I Sold The Smothers Brothers A Song Called 'chocolate,' And That Gave Me Enough Money To Move Down Here. I Was Washing Windows Down In Orange County When They Called Me Up And Said They Wanted Me To Do Their Tv Show.

A Gun Is A Necessity. Who Knows If You're Walking Down A Street And You Spot A Moose?

I Read An Article That Said One In Five Americans Thinks Elvis Is Alive. I Want To Find Those Morons And Get Them Registered To Vote For Me.