If You're A Comic, You Don't Have

Eggs! They're Not A Food, They Belong In No Group! They're Just Farts Clothed In Substance!

You've A Very Important, Early Decision To Make In Your Life: Are You Going To Be Alone, Or Are You Going To Be With Somebody Else? Are You Going To Be Sane, Or Not Lonely? A Couple Is A Strange Thing; It's An Organism That's Half As Intelligent As The Most Intelligent Member. And You Both Know Who It Is!

Shame Is One Of The Greatest Aphrodisiacs In The World, Anyway, Built Into Religion.

I'd Be Hard-pressed To Think Of Anybody Who's Made Me Laugh, Who's Funny, But Who's Also Relentlessly Positive.

You Know, People Sometimes Say To Me, 'do You Prefer To Do This Or That, Act Or Do Stand-up Or Write' But The Thing That I Enjoy Most Is The Difference Between All Of Them, Because You're Always Learning. I Don't Go Around Thinking Of Myself As A Great Anything. I'm Actually Lucky To Have The Chance To Fail At All Of Them.