If You Have To Ask Someone To

I Attended An Extremely Small Liberal Arts School. There Were Approximately 1,600 Of Us Roaming Our New England Campus On A Good Day. My High School Was Bigger. My Freshman Year Hourly Calorie Intake Was Bigger.

Air Travel Is The Safest Form Of Travel Aside From Walking; Even Then, The Chances Of Being Hit By A Public Bus At 30,000 Feet Are Remarkably Slim. I Also Have No Problem With Confined Spaces. Or Heights. What I Am Afraid Of Is Speed.

As Most New Yorkers Have Done, I Have Given Serious And Generous Thought To The State Of My Apartment Should I Get Killed During The Day.

Every Time I Open The Drawer, It's A Trip Down Memory Lane, Which, If You Don't Turn Off At The Right Exit, Merges Straight Into The Masochistic Nostalgia Highway.

I Don't Do Emoticons Unless I'm Making A Big Deal Out Of Them. I'll Type Out, 'this Is So Amusing It Makes Me Want To Grin In Pixels.' And Then Do It.