If You Enjoy Math And You Write

I Was Born Too Late For Steam Trains And A Lazy Eye Meant I'd Never Be An Astronaut.

The Most Difficult Book I Wrote Was The Fourth In A Series Of Linked Children's Books. It Was Like Pulling Teeth Because The Publisher Wanted Exactly The Same But Completely Different. I'd Much Rather Just Do Something Completely Different Even If There's A Risk Of It Going Wrong.

The Word "metaphor" Means Carrying Something From One Place To Another . . . And It Is When You Describe Something By Using A Word For Something That It Isn't. This Means That The Word "metaphor" Is A Metaphor. I Think It Should Be Called A Lie Because A Pig Is Not Like A Day And People People Do Not Have Skeletons In Their Cupboards. And When I Try And Make A Picture Of The Phrase In My Head It Just Confuses Me Because Imagining And Apple In Someone's Eye Doesn't Have Anything To Do With Liking Someone A Lot And It Makes You Forget What The Person Was Talking About.

And It's Best If You Know A Good Thing Is Going To Happen, Like An Eclipse Or Getting A Microscope For Christmas. And It's Bad If You Know A Bad Thing Is Going To Happen, Like Having A Filling Or Going To France. But I Think It Is Worst If You Don't Know Whether It Is A Good Thing Or A Bad Thing Which Is Going To Happen.

I Suffer Depression Only In The Sense That I Am A Writer. We Don't Have Proper Jobs To Go To. We Are On Our Own All Day. Show Me A Writer Who Doesn't Get Depressed: Who Has A Completely Stable Mood. They'd Be A Garage Mechanic Or Something.