If There Is A Supreme Being, He's

I Have Been Photographed To Death.

Sex Is Much Better With A Woman, But Then One Can't Live With A Woman.

A New Kind Of Award Has Been Added -- The Deathbed Award. It Is Not An Award Of Any Kind. Either The Recipient Has Not Acted At All, Or Was Not Nominated, Or Did Not Win The Award The Last Few Times Around. It Is Intended To Relieve The Guilty Conscience Of The Academy Members And Save Face In Front Of The Public. The Academy Has The Horrible Taste To Have A Star, Choking With Emotion, Present This Deathbed Award So That There Can Be No Doubt In Anybody's Mind Why The Award Is So Hurriedly Given. Lucky Is The Actor Who Is Too Sick To Watch The Proceedings On Television.

Superstitions Are Habits Rather Than Beliefs.

Champagne Makes You Feel Like It's Sunday And Better Days Are Just Around The Corner.