If It Turns Out That The Mayans

Yesterday Gary Condit Spent The Whole Day Attending An Agricultural Meeting. Boy, That's When You Know A Congressman's In Real Trouble: When He Spends The Whole Day Actually Working.

According To A New Survey, 90% Of Men Say Their Lover Is Also Their Best Friend. Which Is Really Kind Of Disturbing When You Consider Man's Best Friend Is His Dog.

Have You Noticed How The Republicans And Democrats Try To Copy Each Other At Their Conventions. Like At The Democratic Convention John Kerry's Daughter Told A Story About How He Once Gave Cpr To Her Hamster. At The Republican Convention The Bush Girls Are Going To Tell A Story About How When Their Hamster Was Bad, Their Dad Built Them A Little Electric Chair.

We're Fighting Three Wars Now. Imagine How Many We'd Be Fighting If President Obama Hadn't Won The Nobel Peace Prize.

President-elect Barack Obama Is Starting To Get An Idea Of Just How Hard His New Job Is Going To Be. Today, He Said He Wanted To Bring A Sense Of Accountability To Washington. I Think They Realized Actual Accountability, Never Going To Happen.