If I Have Caused Just One Person

In My Youth, I Wanted To Be A Great Pantomimist -- But I Found I Had Nothing To Say.

How Nice. Now The Germans Can Sleep In Peace, Knowing That They Will Not Be Invaded By Us.

Humor Is Something That Thrives Between Man's Aspirations And His Limitations. There Is More Logic In Humor Than In Anything Else. Because, You See, Humor Is Truth.

The Conductor Is A Peculiar Person. He Turns His Back On His Friends In The Audience, Shakes A Stick At His Players In The Orchestra, And Then Wonders Why Nobody Loves Him.

(responding To A Sneeze From The Audience) Who Exploded?