If A Lobster Didn't Look Like A

There Are Three Kinds Of People: Those Who Can Count, And Those Who Cannot.

The More Syllables A Euphemism Has, The Further Divorced From Reality It Is.

In My Fifth-grade Yearbook - It's Right Up There On The Top Shell - The Last Page Says, "what About Your Future?" And Under My Name, It Says, "when I Grow Up, I Would Like To Be Either An Actor, A Radio Announcer, An Impersonator Or A Comedian."

Some People See The Glass Half Full. Others See It Half Empty. I See A Glass That's Twice As Big As It Needs To Be.

In The United States, Anybody Can Be President. That's The Problem.