I Wish I Could Tell You It

Learn What Not To Expect. Irish Catholic They Get Sh**** Little Rings. Irish Women Get Crappy Rings. Baptist Get The Worst Because They Get The Rings Under Water. When It Comes Up, It's Garbage. Jewish, Big Rings. Episcopalian Big Rings. Italians-the Best, Because They Get Them Off Of Dead People, And Second Wives Get The Biggest Rings Of All.

You Know It's Time To Start Using Mouthwash When Your Dentist Leaves The Room And Sends In A Canary.

Elizabeth Taylor Was So Fat That Whenever She Went To London In A Red Dress, 30 Passengers Would Try To Board Her.

Never Floss With A Stranger.

You Don’t Marry For Love. What Does Love Got To Do With Marriage? I Spit On Love And Marriage. You Marry For Money.