I've Got Soggy Thighs. It Must Be

John Cleese Once Told Me He'd Do Anything For Money. So I Offered Him A Pound To Shut Up, And He Took It.

At Cambridge, You Have To Kiss The Vice-chancellor's Fingers. But I Missed Out On That, 'cause I Was Doing A Matinee. I Don't Want To Kiss A Strange Man's Fingers Anyway.

You Could Feel The Place Going Crazy Because We Hadn't Been On Stage Together For Maybe 35 Years And The Audience Could Just Feel Us In The Darkness Come On And They Went Nuts. It Made The Little Hairs Stand Up On The Back Of My Neck And We Sang Sit On My Face, Which I Thought Was Wonderfully Appropriate For George's Memorial, And Then We Bowed And We Showed Our Bare Asses.

You Get Interviewed When You're Out Promoting Something.

Pattycake, Pattycake, Baker's Man; Good Morning, Madam, I'm A Psychiatrist