I Rant, Therefore I Am

I Like Money. It's Fun To Fold And Stack And Smell And Look At. It's Just Plain Fun To Count Money, And I Often Do It In A Loud Falsetto While Wearing Nothing But A Captain's Hat And A Coin Changer.

But The Biggest Fake Of The Year, Paul Begala's Last Smile

If Clinton Had Only Attacked Terrorism As Much As He Attacks George Bush We Wouldn't Be In This Problem.

Ouch! And Marino Goes Down Quicker Than His Boonesfarm-infused Sister In The Back Of My '68 Cutlass On Our First Date After Watching 'love Story' At The Drive-in.

The Quarterback's Spending So Much Time Behind The Center That He May Jeopardize His Right To Lead A Boy Scout Troop.