I'm Such A Blonde. It Just Doesn't

I Just Started Calling Myself 'swamp A-.' Like, I Have Swamp A- Right Now. I Had Major Swamp A- Because I Was Wearing These Spanx To Hold In My Gut ... It's Like The Bayou Up In That Region.

I Feel Like I Have A Bowling Ball Sitting On My Hoo-ha.

And I'm The Worst Liar Of All Time.

It's Not Fair That Women Look In The Mirror And Feel Disgust Because Of What Society Has Made Them Believe.

Is This Chicken Or Is This Fish?