I Love You Like A Fat Kid

I Think 'dilbert' Will Remain Popular As Long As Employees Are Frustrated And They Fear The Consequences Of Complaining Too Loudly. 'dilbert' Is The Designated Voice Of Discontent For The Workplace. I Never Planned It That Way. It Just Happened.

In Yesterday's Post, I Asked How Many Of You Guys Would Have Sex With A Robot If It Was Indistinguishable From A Hot Human Woman. About 95% Of The Hetero Guys Said They Would. The Other 5% Expressed A Strong Preference For Lying.

I Believe Everybody In The World Should Have Guns. Citizens Should Have Bazookas And Rocket Launchers Too. I Believe That All Citizens Should Have Their Weapons Of Choice. However, I Also Believe That Only I Should Have The Ammunition. Because Frankly, I Wouldn't Trust The Rest Of The Goobers With Anything More Dangerous Than String.

The Amount Of Energy Spent Laughing At A Joke Should Be Directly Proportional To The Hierarchical Status Of The Joke Teller.

When You Hire That First Person, Then You're A Boss. You've Got Performance Reviews. You've Got Complaints About Not Making Enough Money. You've Got People Who Are Just Going To Sell Your Story To The Tabloids.