I Had A Dog That Was So

I Don't Mean To Harp On This, But It's Like The Networks Are A How-to Manual For Terrorists. You See Them On The News. This Reporter Is Standing Outside A Water Treatment Plant, Going, 'if They Poured The Poison Here It Could Wipe Out Thousands Because The Guard Is Off Duty From Noon Until 1 Every Day!'

The Good News Is, The Stock Market Is Closed And It Can't Hurt Us Again Until Tomorrow.

A Survey Says That American Workers Work The First Three Hours Every Day Just To Pay Their Taxes. So That's Why We Can't Get Anything Done In The Morning: We're Government Workers.

The New Specialty At The Iowa Fair This Year Is Fried Butter On A Stick. Of Course, If You're Like Me And You Want Like To Eat Healthy, Get Your Stick Of Butter Baked.

Did You Hear That We're Writing Iraq's New Constitution? Why Not Just Give Them Ours? We're Not Using It Anymore.