I Don't Make The Best Movies In

It's Definitely Not True What They Say About Women Wanting A Guy With A Sense Of Humour. What Women Mean Is That They Want A Guy With A Sense Of Humour Who Is Really Handsome. If A Girl Had A Choice Between Brad Pitt Or Me, She'd Pick Brad Pitt. And I'm A Lot Funnier Than He Is.

There Was A Year Straight Where Every Weekend, I Went To At Least One Bar Mitzvah Or Bat Mitzvah, And We Would All Go, And It Was A Lot Of Fun. We Sneak Some Beer; We'd Hang Out; We Would Try To Get With Girls And Not. And Usually We'd Just End Up Hanging Out Together Alone.

You Don't Have To Put Dresses In A Movie To Make Girls Like It.

The Good Thing About L.a. Is That There's Always Someone More Famous 100 Yards Away From Me.

When I Was 13 And 14, There Were A Lot Of Jokes About My Bar Mitzvah And My Grandparents, And Then When I Got Older, It Became More About Touching Boobs And Trying To Get Liquor, You Know? I Kind Of Ran The Gamut Of Infantile Behavior... And I Haven't Moved One Step Forward Since.