I Don't Know If I Have Sexual

The Other Night, The President Gave A Speech. He Said, "children Are Our Most Prescious Natural Resource". I Thought, "let's Hope It Never Comes To That".

I'm Not A Republican... But I Am Saving Up To Be One.

Christmas Seems To Start Earlier And Earlier Every Year. Like, This Time, It's On December 25th.

I Think It's Good To Know More Than The Average Guy. If I'm In A Bar Now And Some Pretty Girl Is Talking To Some Handsome 24-year-old Man, I'll Say, "okay, Who's The Emperor After Caligula? What Chief Mistake Did Marcus Aurelius Make In Choosing A Successor?" He'll Just Look Like An Idiot. She'll Just Gravitate Toward Me, I'm Thinking. It Works In Detroit.

I Always Wanted A Beautiful Loving Wife And She Always Wanted To Be A Citizen.