How Long Can We Go Without Real

Should I Eat This Or Should I Eat This? Well, I'll Have To Eat Both!

This Book Is Dedicated To All Of My Friends Who Helped Me Get To Where I Am Today - You Know Who You Are... And When I Find You I Am Going To Kill You.

I Can Pretty Much Guarantee That If I Do A Show In A Comedy Club, There Will Be Someone Who Will Come Out Of The Audience And Tell Me The Worst Joke Ever. It's Just A Guarantee.

Valentine's Day: The Holiday That Reminds You That If You Don't Have A Special Someone, You're Alone.

I Believe That Summer Is Our Time, A Time For The People, And That No Politician Should Be Allowed To Speak To Us During The Summer. They Can Start Talking Again After Labor Day.